How to Build Mental Resilience

The dictionary defines RESILIENCE as;

1.    The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties or toughness times &

2.    The ability of a substance to spring back into shape; elasticity

In psychological terms resilience can be defined as the ability to come back stronger after being knocked back by life’s adversities. It’s your ability to withstand adversity and bounce back.

Yet, I believe resilience isn’t just about ‘bouncing back’ to how you were before something ‘bad’ happened. It’s also about how you adapt to a mentally, physically or emotionally challenging situation and stay well when facing those challenges.

Perhaps you don’t consider yourself a resilient person???

Bombshell!!!!

Resilience ISN’T WHO OR WHAT YOU ARE!!!!

It’s a skill that you can learn and develop.

The challenges and hard times we face are key. You can’t learn or develop resilience if life is all cupcakes and unicorns! You need challenges in order to put the theory into practice and develop finely honed skills.  

Ready for another bombshell?

Nobody’s life is all cupcakes and unicorns – no matter what their social media accounts might suggest.

I’m here to tell you that you CAN develop resilience and learn how to become stronger as a result of YOUR life’s challenges.

Here are five steps you can take to develop your own inner resilience.

Knock Negativity on the Head

Literally, when that negative thought comes in, uninvited, imagine a large hammer bashing it!!!

Learning to reframe negativity takes time; in order to develop resilience you must learn to recognise when, you are dwelling on the negative thoughts and consciously stop. At first it will take hard work and determination but as you develop new neural pathways, it’ll become easier to tune out the negativity and focus instead on what you need to do to move forward from a situation.

This isn’t the same as positive thinking. It’s about taking an action that stops the negative thought pattern….DEAD. Go for a run. Meditate. Practice some mindfulness. Do some deep breathing. USE the hammer!!!

If running isn’t your ‘THANG’ work out what will work for YOU so that when you spot negative thoughts getting in your way, you already have a plan and the tools to deal with them.

Feel the Fear

Avoiding failure might seem like a great way to build resilience but in truth, it will just stop you doing stuff you really want to do!

See situations that you might fail at, as a challenge and see what happens.

A GREAT acronym I learned many years ago is: -

FAIL

(F)irst

(A)ttempt

(I)n

(L)earning

If it helps, think of things you’ve done in the past that were challenging and look objectively at how they turned out. For example, think about the last time you did something that you were really good at. Then think back to when you weren’t good at it and look at the progress you made and what YOU did to overcome your setbacks.

 Quit Catastrophising

STOP thinking about the absolute worst that could happen. Think of all the things that have kept you awake at night? How often do the absolute, worst case scenarios, actually come true? In reality, very rarely. Even if something goes wrong, it’s often not much more than a blip; a life lesson that you both learn AND move on from. 

 Fast Forward to the Future

There’s an ancient Persian saying, ‘This too shall pass’, and it’s true in every situation in life. Thinking forward to a time when the memories of your current challenges won’t be as raw and painful can be a powerful tool to building resilience.

Where will you be in five years’ time? Will the thing you’re worrying about now, still be a big deal or will it have faded and become life’s rich and varied tapestry?

Even enormous, life-changing events fade in significance over time.

Practice Gratitude

I’m not being flippant when I say ‘every cloud has a silver lining’ as sometimes that can be hard to see. However, there are many times in life when you can flip a situation on its head, to be grateful instead.

Maybe your car has a puncture and repairing it will be expensive yet how GREAT is it to have the luxury of a car in the first place.

Maybe that promotion you worked so hard for went to a colleague, yet how GREAT is it that other opportunities to shine brighter in your company will come up in the future. 

Remember for every door that closes, another one opens.

Find out more

If you need help to develop resilience in your personal or professional life, please get in touch.

 I have a range of options available. In addition to 1:1 therapy, I can offer workplace resilience training for individuals and teams.

 To find out more about how to develop resilience, call 07557668729 or email me to arrange your free initial consultation.